In Kingdom Come Deliverance 2, it doesn’t matter if you wear the finest silks, beautiful satin or come encrusted with jewels: if you smell bad, then people will avoid you like the milk aisle at the supermarket after a spill.
And by that same token, blood stains and cow dung tend to take the sheen off a delicately embroidered coat.
But when Henry is lugging heavy sacks, digging graves and fighting off bandits, it’s sweaty, smelly work. Lucky for him though, even in medieval Europe, there are plenty of ways to clean his clothes, wash his body and wind up smelling fresh as a marigold once again. Here’s what you can do!
Wash at a trough
If you’re really stinky, then splashing yourself with water at a trough is a perfectly serviceable way to freshen up.
However, this will still leave you at around 70% dirtiness which, by all accounts, is still very mucky.
As you progress through the game, you can choose perks which improve the effectiveness of troughs, allowing them to fully wash your body if not your clothes. However, you’ll still need to employ more powerful cleaning techniques to rub elbows with nobility.
Swim in water
One of the in-game tips says that you can clean yourself by swimming in bodies of water, but I’ve had mixed results testing this myself.
Again, like the trough, it’s good for blood and light dirt, but not the full laundered experience, it also won’t get stubborn stains off of jewelry and necklaces.
Remember, you also can’t swim while wearing heavy metal armour – you’ll just sink and die. So the river also isn’t good for washing your plate cuirass and pauldrons .
Visit a bath house or laundrette
The quickest and most efficient way to get your clothes cleaned is by visiting a professional. This is my personal favourite since it’s cost-effective, time-efficient and gets the job done.
There are bath houses at the Nomad Camp and Zhelejov Inn and a laundry service in Semine. These are reasonably priced and restore your items to 0% dirtiness.
Bath houses also offer a range of services (including what other games might term “romance”) and can heal your wounds quicker than sleep. What you need to consider though, is that bath houses will only clean the clothes and equipment you currently have equipped, so make sure you have as much stuff equipped as possible once you settle in for a bath.
Laundry facilities are more flexible with what you can wash though, so if you only need one or two things cleaning – such as some rings or your best hat for instance – Semine main street is the place to go!
Make your own soap
Ever-committed to realistic simulation, if you’re a budding alchemist, Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 also lets you make (or buy) your own soap and wash your own clothes.
First, you need the recipe for soap, which you can buy at the alchemist in Troskowitz. Their shop is in the southwest corner of town and not only features a free alchemy bench at the top of the herb garden, but a selection of free herbs from said garden too.
Then with your crafted (or bought) soap in-hand, you can lather and wash your grotty garments in the nearest trough.
For more how-tos, quest guides and items, check out our Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 walkthrough!