Insults are so serious, these days. They’re all so insulting, whereas the kinds of insult I cherish are the ones that coax a belly laugh from both the roaster and the roastee. Here are a few stupid putdowns I’ve found or made up specially for Xmas, organised into tiers of savagery.
Suggestions welcome! Good luck sneaking them past the Dread Automoderator, and apologies to whoever has to eventually update our list of banned keywords with entries like “gastropustule”. I’ll make additions and refresh the rankings over time. With any luck, this will cost us all many hours of gainful employment.
You’re all a bunch of…
S-Tier
Fart custards, belch fanciers, and failed armpits…
A-Tier
Cheesewits and blunderbusybodies…
B-Tier
Honkstewers, carping toilet seats, cone polishers and pseudonauts…
C-Tier
Gutterguards, bellowing yolks, soiled baguettes, hairy earfuls and barking dinosaurs…
D-Tier
Tonsils, trufflers, tricklehumpers and blown gaskets…
E-Tier
Sparkling prunes and cumberwalds, stinky dapplings and gastropustules…
F-Tier
Footpads, salamanders, corpsers, quisbies and frisbees…
Your turn.