Hello all! Generally, I like to start the weekly Maw round-up with a gruesome account of some cosmic disturbance, but fleeting experience of the world of Theatah has taught me that often, you’re better off warming up the crowd with a joke. Here is one: What’s a pirate’s favourite letter? Answer at the bottom of the page.
Monday 29th June
- The Message from Deep Space is a puzzler about translating signals from a mysterious asteroid. It’s set in the 1970s and inspired by the Voyager Interstellar Record project – in particular, Carl Sagan’s idea of maths and the scientific method as a “universal language”.
- Arcade fighting game Ninja Masters has been ported to Steam, 30 years after its NeoGeo release. The new version has nine-player lobbies, rollback netcode, and a practice mode.
Tuesday 30th June
- It’s time for the first act of Feed the Pit (pictured), in which you use investigation cards to search cursed forests for rich people to sacrifice to an otherworldly being.
- A new King’s Fieldlike approacheth! Forgotten Blood is a gloomy valley’s worth of freaky little guys, cool stone buildings, and “angelpunk” aesthetics.
- Telluricene is a visual novel in which you get to date either a hunky janitor or the possibly world-ending plant creature you’re busy growing in a vat. I’d be swiping right on that Janitor, but he has Dark Secrets of some kind.
- Oblivion Maiden is a dreamy top-down mystery puzzler set in an enchanted school.
- In 2D edu-tainer Cartesian Battle, you learn mathematical functions by plotting and combining them to create bullet trajectories at the behest of a snarky doodle.
Wednesday 1st July
- I feel like I’m biased towards horror, so let me recommend something smooshy and loveable – Cat Squeeze, a block-shoving maze puzzler about the cutest little chubster whoever did a mraow. Squeezing the cat does make him explode, admittedly, but not in a grim way.
- Here’s another sweet one: Mosaic Garden, in which you try to make patterns by watering or cutting back a grid of flowers. How restful!
- And now here’s Mycofall (early access), a bullet heaven Survivors-like about a mushroom man being devoured by insects. How cosy!
- Lullabies Made of Static is a megalopolis exploration game inspired by the likes of Babbdi and Lorn’s Lure. Very enveloping architecture, not so sure about the writing.
- Oh boy, 64 inference-based symbol puzzles, buried in the sand.
Thursday 2nd July
- Hollow Ground is a top-down 90s-style action game about pillaging a bunker full of nasties. And HP-eroding radiation. Everybody walks as though they’re secretly a gorilla (complimentary).
Friday 3rd July
- In Laballatory, you have to construct the most elaborate Newton’s Cradle desktoy possible, or Doctor Ballkovitch won’t let you out of the building. But Doctor! I am the most elaborate Newton’s Cradle desktoy possible.
- It’s time to save the New World from that uppity oik George Washington in American Revolutionary War, a turn-based wargame with some rousing fife music. Or as you may prefer, twist King George III’s nipples and send him packing.
And now, without further ado, that punchline: you’d think it’d be arrrrrrr, but tis the C they love. Go on, laugh, you deadbeats! Don’t make me come down there.
As for what the RPS team are up to this week: let’s just say that the Jolly Roger jokes aren’t wholly malapropos, but I shall share no more for fear of cannonball to the poopdeck. Amongst other things, we’ll be writing about the Steam Machine, Microsoft’s end of financial year, and the other, more entertaining kind of boss. Julian is plotting some bloodthirsty interview coverage, while Jeremy is hacking away at an old classic in the guides mines. I’ll be spending some of the week preparing for Tennocon, the annual Warframe/Soulframe bash in Canada. What are you up to? Any interesting games to share?