RailGods Of Hysterra is one of those games that, as it were, shovels a bunch of relatively dried-up concepts into the squirming furnaces of something appealingly ghastly. On the one hand, it’s burdened by talk of “crafting”, “base-building” and “survival” – all things I have enjoyed but am currently weary of, and which together make the game sound interchangeable with half of Steam. But it’s elevated, on the other hand, by talk of living helltrains that eat crocodiles for breakfast. Without further ado, here’s a trailer.
In RailGods Of Hysterra, the Lovecraftian Old Gods have overrun the Earth and turned it into a stormy themepark of snakes with missing chins and assorted freaky little guys. You (and up to four of your friends) play a Dreamer, who has awoken in the Dreamlands and is now charged with guiding a monstrous RailGod along the Eternal Railway, raiding dungeons and visiting the last outposts of humanity. The final objective: transform yourself and your ravening choo-choohulu into an elder deity on par with the cosmic A-listers.
“Born from forbidden rituals and unholy magic, your RailGod is no mere machine but a sentient locomotive, pulsing with eldritch life,” the Steam page explains. “It craves the flesh of your enemies, demanding their sacrifice as fuel for its relentless journey. This colossal fortress on wheels is not just your stronghold – it’s your most terrifying weapon against the unspeakable horrors of Hysterra. Upgrade its Carriages with sinister innovations, and as your bond deepens, you’ll unlock the power to battle the titans and witness the downfall of the Great Old Ones.”
The broad flow looks similar to Last Train Home, except that combat is Diablo-ish, with a mix of blades, spells and guns. Each away mission is both a chance to investigate the world, and an opportunity to harvest materials for locomotive expansions and upgrades, not least those nice, crunchy alligators. It looks like most of the critters you’ll feed your locomotive are just fuel for the next leg of the journey. But you can also “confine and sacrifice Deathless enemies to receive Dark Gifts, gaining the upper hand against the eldritch creatures threatening your path to godhood”.
One thing the Steam page doesn’t specify is whether you can feed other players to the train. It’ll be a real waste of potential if you can’t, though I imagine one outcome might be stranded players innocently asking friends to drop into co-op, so they can spartan kick them straight into the boiler. Beyond that, I must predictably ask: Thomas The Tank Engine mod when?
Developers Troglobytes Games are them what did body-swapping shmup Hyperparasite and the less-regarded Kindeman Remedy, in which you and a sadist nun torture prisoners in the name of science. It’s safe to say these developers have an appetite for the icky. I haven’t played The Kindeman Remedy, but it sounds far more unpleasant than some train with tentacles.
RailGods will come chuffing through the cracks in reality in 2025. If you prefer your traingods without the tentacles, may I recommend the anime Train To The End Of The Road? Or if you’d rather politicise your traingods, how about China Mieville’s novel Iron Council? I’d happily play a game based on that.