“The Gears of War trilogy was largely developed hungover by me” – Cliff Bleszinski reckons with a difficult past while plotting a return to games and a brighter future

Cliff Bleszkinski, the designer instrumental in the creation of Gears of War – the face of the series for three games – has opened up about a career-long struggle with alcohol which he’s now reckoning with, while also teasing a potential return to creating games.

In a candid interview with 80 level, Bleszinski, now 51 years old, recalled the moment he was handed a bottle of vodka on an Unreal Tournament press tour in 2003 and his drinking began, and how a culture of heavy drinking in the games industry encouraged it. “You go to your GDCs, you go to your E3s, you have three nights in a row of going to parties, or wine dinner with your partners and then you have hotel lobby bars,” he said.

As a result, a habit formed. “The Gears of War trilogy was largely developed hungover by me,” Bleszinski said. “I was, at that point, a functioning alcoholic.” But as time wore on, things inevitably began to change.

Bleszinski formed his own studio Boss Key to create a competitive hero-shooter called Lawbreakers in 2017, and it was decent but failed to find an audience in the wake of enormous competition from Overwatch. A rushed battle royale game Radical Heights a year later couldn’t change the studio’s fortunes so Boss Key closed in 2018, taking Bleszinski’s sense of purpose with it. “I basically got to the point where I didn’t have anything to get out of bed for,” he said.

In March this year, Bleszinski’s body presented the bill, as he found himself in hospital after a seizure. “Eventually, my body was like ‘Fuck you,’ and I realised this is me hitting a wall and it’s time to give this up after 25 years of partying.” In the weeks and months since, he has been in recovery and his health has reportedly improved.

“It’s been a journey,” he said. “I don’t want to be that person where my defining aspect is my alcoholism. I want to be that well-known, hopefully loved, successful game designer who is a great husband who also happens to be an alcoholic.”

In more recent years, Bleszinski has written a memoir called Control Freak: My Epic Adventure Making Video Games, which was published in 2022, and dabbled in comic books. He also, somewhat surprisingly, became the co-producer of the hit Broadway musical Hadestown, which I watched in London and would wholeheartedly recommend. “It felt like redemption,” Bleszinski said of Hadestown’s success in an interview with The Guardian earlier this year.

But he isn’t done with games. “At the end of the day, I want to create characters and worlds,” he told 80 level. “I want to make stuff that people will cosplay as and get tattooed on their bodies.” He said he’s starting to see game mechanics and ideas in the world around him, and a consulting role on an asymmetrical horror game called Soul Walker re-stoked his interest in the medium. “So maybe I’ll eventually get my full foot back in the business and hopefully not get pushed into the pool,” he said.

As to what he’ll make: he’s apparently more of a PvE fan these days than PvP – “Horde mode saved Gears 2,” he said, referring to the wave-based mode where you and your friends tried to survive for as long as possible against ever-mounting odds. “I believe that space is evergreen because players just want to hop online with friends and shoot some stuff, no frills, no questions asked.”

Gears of War continues to be a key franchise for Xbox two decades later, and will expand with a major new instalment, Gears of War: E-Day – a prequel – 6th October. And yes, Horde mode returns with it.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction problems, Mind has a list of vital services that can help.